Just Too Friggin Tired...

Here's the deal....I am so tired and the war has just begun. I sit here and can dig up no strength to battle....and I really must garner it from somewhere...

Little known fact about me...I like balance and justice and will fight for an underdog and have the rare ability to see all sides of an argument. Even when I am sure I am right or have a very firm stance on an issue I can see and understand the opposite side or sides.

Again I rarely battle for me, only me...a group as a whole or an indiviual who seems a lost cause, but me, nope...

After much rambling here's the deal...big oil and me...

We were approached last year about a oil company coming onto the place and doing so surveying...Although the thought of the land being raped and sucked dry makes me ill, I also know that rigs mean much needed work in the area.....hungry babies verses ruined land and animals being displaced or worse, in the name of money.

So we agreed,and I will not apologize for agreeing to it or explain myself...however I had one request when they come onto or leave the farm, that they shut and latch all gates so that none of our animals get out into the woodland behind the house and barn. It is fenced and crossed fenced, but barbed wire fencing rarely keeps dogs in.

The surveyors showed up this AM to do a structure mapping....they left the gates open...one dog left through the open gate following the surveyors. I called the head office and reminded them that I asked that they please just close and latch the gates...I was told "it's no big deal....she'll (the dog) will come back" and ya know she will, I know it, but that's not the point...I said you told me you would shut the gates. The guy laughed at me and again said its no big deal...I then told him he isn't to come back onto the place as he cant follow the simple request I made...mind you no papers have been signed as of yet...now they wont be...I was informed the oil company is getting a court order and will return if I like it or not...

Oddly, oil bought the very place I'm on...I just dont think this is a battle I'm gonna win...I too tired to fight...I havent the funds to battle them...I haven't the mental strength right now...I feel like such a whimp....I know oil, money talks, jobs talk....very much needed income for the area verse some eccentric witch in the backwoods...ummmm yea.

~Let us go forward in this battle fortified by conviction that those who labour in the service of a great and good cause will never fail.
Owen Arthur~

I so want to believe the above quote....My heart says it's so..but my head knows better.

Taking leave,
Cordelia the Coward

Which battles to choose?
Words take no form,
My tongue has lost its edge,
Spirit collapsed,
My armor is weak,
From warrior to pathetic in no time flat,
Cowardly, I sit with head hanging...