Monday, October 31, 2005

Wit and Wisdom A La Cordi

Okay so its short on wisdom and probably wit too...but I needed a different title than "ramblings" again.
Here collectively are questions, thoughts and random moments of clarity.

I need more hours in the day.

I need less hours in the day.

Do not bathe if you are shaving your hairy legs, armpits and nether region, shower instead or you will never ever rinse all the tiny hairs off, and then whats the point....

Learn to listen to your children before its too late....get over the nodding the head Uh-huh thing before you have to make an emergancy run to the vet to remove a q-tip from the dogs butt because you did the nodding head uh-huh thing when asked if they can poo it out and can I try and see?.....

Never kiss your mate so passionately at the front door that a good-bye kiss turns to a hearty grunting hump session at the front door and then try to explain to your kid, who comes to see what the noise is, that Mom and Dad always do exercises before Daddy goes to work and aint it cool how Mom can grab her ankles?....

Never play Neopets for 8 hours straight or you'll end up petting the monitor screen and cooing to your virtual pet.

Never say the L word unless you mean it, never say the h word unless you mean it.

Notice how the L word is soft on your mouth? It sorta rolls off your tongue. And the H word is harsh and the t sound really sticks in the roof of your mouth.

The older I get the more I like me and the less I like most humans....

How come I debate buying garbage bags because the cost X amount per bag but have no problem dropping bucks on yarn, coffee, or DVDs?

How come when no one is around I shimmy like Shakira and sing at the top of my lungs? How come I dont stop if someone walks in on me?

I love the way the sugary crud in sugar waffers melts on my tongue.

I love the smell of fresh baked bread....such a content feeling.

And last but not least...and probably the most serious:

Preservation of ones spirit is more important than the right of someone else to express their thoughts.

Cordelia Yeomans 2005

11 Comments:

Blogger MrsFife said...

Yes! Yuck! Wow! Ew! and so on....

1:44 AM  
Blogger Deneen said...

Great post!

I just had the hair/bathing problem the other night. Of course, my legs and armpits are never so hairy this is a problem, but the nether region caused a problem. Namely, I had to scour the tub and rinse it about 20 times-ew!

I am so there with debating buying something that's $3, yet buying yarn without even thinking about it (okay, I do think about it, but it's completely justifiable)

10:45 AM  
Blogger Lynlee said...

"Do not bathe if you are shaving your hairy legs, armpits and nether region, shower instead or you will never ever rinse all the tiny hairs off, and then whats the point...."

Why didn't anyone ever warn me??? I had to learn that one the hard way. Then try explaining to your mother how your "legs" got so hairy that you had to clean the bathtub...

PS: glad you aren't dead!

11:35 AM  
Blogger ladylinoleum said...

Good post and it made me laugh. Girl, I needed to laugh today. Thank you!

12:59 PM  
Blogger Jewels said...

good thoughts to read...good points!!

7:35 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

great words of wisdom.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

excellent post! My I use some of these as my daily "hmmmm..." quotes in my classroom?

6:03 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

That was great :)

9:58 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

OMG....the ankle comment made me snort my coffee! LOL

11:10 AM  
Blogger Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

Cordelia,
Good musings! Have you decided if you like the artistic women yet? It is an odd groupage, alot of talent, alot of blowing my own horn type stuff too.
Deb

4:11 PM  
Blogger goldi said...

OMG, Cordelia - that was priceless! I howled over the good-bye kiss one! But they're all great. LOL!

(wiping eyes)

3:16 PM  

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