Wit and Wisdom A La Cordi

Okay so its short on wisdom and probably wit too...but I needed a different title than "ramblings" again.
Here collectively are questions, thoughts and random moments of clarity.

I need more hours in the day.

I need less hours in the day.

Do not bathe if you are shaving your hairy legs, armpits and nether region, shower instead or you will never ever rinse all the tiny hairs off, and then whats the point....

Learn to listen to your children before its too late....get over the nodding the head Uh-huh thing before you have to make an emergancy run to the vet to remove a q-tip from the dogs butt because you did the nodding head uh-huh thing when asked if they can poo it out and can I try and see?.....

Never kiss your mate so passionately at the front door that a good-bye kiss turns to a hearty grunting hump session at the front door and then try to explain to your kid, who comes to see what the noise is, that Mom and Dad always do exercises before Daddy goes to work and aint it cool how Mom can grab her ankles?....

Never play Neopets for 8 hours straight or you'll end up petting the monitor screen and cooing to your virtual pet.

Never say the L word unless you mean it, never say the h word unless you mean it.

Notice how the L word is soft on your mouth? It sorta rolls off your tongue. And the H word is harsh and the t sound really sticks in the roof of your mouth.

The older I get the more I like me and the less I like most humans....

How come I debate buying garbage bags because the cost X amount per bag but have no problem dropping bucks on yarn, coffee, or DVDs?

How come when no one is around I shimmy like Shakira and sing at the top of my lungs? How come I dont stop if someone walks in on me?

I love the way the sugary crud in sugar waffers melts on my tongue.

I love the smell of fresh baked bread....such a content feeling.

And last but not least...and probably the most serious:

Preservation of ones spirit is more important than the right of someone else to express their thoughts.

Cordelia Yeomans 2005